If there is one type of beer that Bahrain liquor stores stock in massive amounts, it’s strong, terrible, malt liquors. I thought it would be funny to pick up a couple and do a side by side, but as you will read, it was less funny and more terrible burning. The iconic paper bag that malt liquors come in haven’t made it out to Bahrain so the standard black bag of shame will have to do.
So, which can of burney pain eventually came out on top? Will the crown stay intact or will the pirates steal the royalty’s fortune? Let’s find out.
Royal Dutch Super Strong 12%
The label design is dull- strike one. If it weren’t for research purposes I would have never purchased this, instead buying a boatload of the Pirate because there is a pirate on the can and if all I care about is getting lit up I might as well pretend I’m a swashbuckler.
Gotta take that first swig straight from the can. No aroma check, no color check, just a hard and deep gulp. Unf, this is rough. It’s full bodied and syrupy smooth with a bit of carbonation in the back end. Royal Dutch slides down the throat with a red-hot alcohol tail, which balances out the grainy sweetness. After pouring it into a glass I can see that this is crystal clear gold with a small head. The aroma is cheap booze mixed with malt sweetness. It has a rough grain profile masked by the fumes and the high level sugary aroma. The more I drink the more fruity notes I’m picking up. (Five minutes later) I can’t taste anything. My tastebuds are burnt off and I might be drunk.
Pirate Super Strong 12%
Can chug- medium to thin boded with a much harsher finish. Not much flavor other than fusel alcohol. Seriously, it burns. Back again and…ouahhh it is hot. Oh man, I’m trying to hold on to hope that I’ll like this one better but that gulp just bit me, I think.
Poured into a glass I see that this one is bright hay/gold with a large head. Clear because filtering is AWESOME! Aroma is a mix of booze, grain, fruity notes and apple really coming thru. Flavor is mostly cereal grains and a lot of booze. Sweet and light fruits, too. Not much, really. I’m mostly surprised about the lack of flavor in this one. (break, lost track of time) I’m seriously drunk. My head is floating, my fingers are dancing, and I don’t know what is going on right now.
Job well done, boozed up brews. I guess you’re both champions.
But in reality, only the Pirate is a champ. The reason is two fold. One, you have a much awesomer can and name. Who doesn’t want to get drunk and pretend to be a pirate? No one. Not even pirates because today’s pirates suck and pirates of yore were cool (except that they sucked, too). But, at least their attire is neat and I can wear it at Halloween. Two, it has less flavor, which means it has less bad flavor and that is a positive. Sure, the booze is a bit harsher, but it’s 12%. Don’t buy it if you didn’t expect that.